Skip to main content

Black + White

I used to stay at this apartment in Long Beach just off of downtown on E. Broadway with a man who would show me old movies. He was the movie buff and knew so much about films and their players in them. It was quite an impressive knowledge. I did nothing there but get high, eat his food, and watch his films... he shared so much with me, he had to, I wouldn't leave.

I remember watching a Hitchcock film, maybe North by Northwest... and another film that was just so small and sad. A lot of the stories were black and white, so distant and sad and I felt like I would never leave that apartment alive. Before this point in my life, there was always a tomorrow that was different than where I was, but in that room I felt my life reaching a point that it could end.

I am grateful to have seen those films and to be not in that room. To have made it out alive. I pray for him will never understand many of the places I have been.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Old Earth

For the longest time, we called you the moon Because from where we could see You looked abandoned And blue Like nighttime We thought we understood how you felt Another room In a home That was a notch on our belt So we burned up the oceans And drowned out our skies Until even the islands began to Become dry And suddenly soon We'll stand crying over valleys abandoned and blue With a far, new born, planet Calling us moon. 
Post a Comment
Read more

A Shake In The Matter.

Have you ever had the thought, ‘If I were white, how different my experience would be. How much more opportunity I would’ve had. How much less stress and anxiety I might experience. How much more attention and validation I might’ve received. How much more money I might have made. How much more acceptance I might’ve felt. How much more ease with which I might’ve moved through the world without fear?’ Imagine that, an existence not governed by fear. And how not once would I have had to think about any of it. Because it would’ve just been there. Been a part of the truth. The air. There would be no space to move through because of the intrinsic ownership granted in the space in which I was, simply because I am. No guessing. No adjusting. Just fully taking up whole space wherever I went. So maybe this idea of white fragility, white questioning, white discomfort, white supremacy is actually good for all of us to experience and see. To have the switch flipped. For everyone to get even just a...
Post a Comment
Read more

Happiness

April 08, 2011 Happiness Page 102 " We come to know happiness, joy and freedom. " Basic Text, p. 91 If someone stopped you on the street today and asked if you were happy, what would you say? "Well, gee, let's see... I have a place to live, food in the refrigerator, a job, my car is running... Well, yes, I guess I'm happy," you might respond. These are outward examples of things that many of us have traditionally associated with happiness. We often forget, however, that happiness is a choice; no one can make us happy. Happiness is what we find in our involvement with Narcotics Anonymous. The happiness we derive from a life focused on service to the addict who still suffers is great indeed. When we place service to others ahead of our own desires, we find that we take the focus off ourselves. As a result, we live a more contented, harmonious life. In being of service to others, we find our own needs more than fulfilled. Happiness. What is it, re...
Post a Comment
Read more